the awakening..

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening... You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can

How anguished my heart : واحـر قلبـاه

واحـر قلبـاه ممـن قلبـه شـبـم " " ومن بجسمي وحالـي عنـده سقـم

How anguished my heart is while his is cold" " A love that caused malady to my body and mind

ما لي أكتم حبا قـد بـرى جسـدي " " وتدعي حب سيـف الدولـة الأمـم
How do I hush up such a love that caused my body to fade" "whereas the hypocrites in their claim of his love lied
إن كـان يجمعنـا حــب لغـرتـه " " فليـت أنـا بقـدر الحـب نقتـسـم
If we all share the same love of his bright forehead " "i wish he would accordingly among us his gratitude divide
قد زرته و سيـوف الهنـد مغمـدة " " وقـد نظـرت إليـه و السيـوف دم
i witnessed his wisdom when his sword in its scabbard" "And his acts when swords were in blood immersed
فكـان أحسـن خـلـق الله كلـهـم " " وكان أحسن مافي الأحسـن الشيـم
in both cases he acted in the best manner ever a human would" "And he proved how good acts can be well-advised
فـوت العـدو الـذي يممتـه ظفـر " " في طيـه أسـف فـي طيـه نعـم
You missed the enemy that from you fled" "Partially bad that you missed and partially good that he survived
قد ناب عنك شديد الخوف واصطنعت " " لـك المهابـة مـالا تصنـع البهـم
The dread of you acted on your behalf instead" "Giving you the solemnity that even courage couldn't extend
ألزمت نفسك شيئـا ليـس يلزمهـا " "أن لا يواريهـم بـحـر و لا عـلـم
You obliged yourself to render them no place to hide " "A commitment by which a triumphant doesn't have to abide
أكلما رمـت جيشـا فانثنـى هربـا " " تصرفـت بـك فـي آثـاره الهمـم
Whenever you defeated an army that retreated and fled" "Your soldiers then followed and wiped out what remained
عليك هزمهـم فـي كـل معتـرك " " و ما عليك بهـم عـار إذا انهزمـوا
Your duty is to defeat them in every battlefield" "And you bear no shame if they your combat do avoid
أما ترى ظفرا حلـوا سـوى ظفـر" " تصافحت فيه بيـض الهنـدو اللمـم
Or is it for a remarkable victory that you look forward" "When heads from bodies by bright blades are disjoined
يا أعدل النـاس إلا فـي معاملتـي " " فيك الخصام و أنت الخصم والحكـم
You are the most fair to all except to my deed" "You are the opponent and the judge who my trial does preside
أعيذهـا نظـرات منـك صـادقـة " " أن تحسب الشحم فيمن شحمـه ورم
i deem it impossible that you make a true regard" "Mistaking the healthy body for that filled with tumoral wad
وما انتفـاع اخـي الدنيـا بناظـره " "إذا استوت عنـده الأنـوار و الظلـم
What use of man's sight can be made" "If he does alike view light and shade
سيعلم الجمع ممـن ضـم مجلسنـا " " بانني خيـر مـن تسعـى بـه قـدم
All those whom our assembly did include" "Will realize that i am the best ever a foot would guide

There never was a good knife made of bad steel.

jumaat datang lg..2paper da lepas..dah lega..2paper lagi rileks je..mybe xsusah mcm 2paper sblom ni,budak2 ni bedengkor lagi..pegi semayang jumaat ke x dak2 ni...weekend ni xbeselerak buku mcm last week..sbb asek membaca je..dah jenuh tgk buku,bile la bule melepak tanpa ada buku..tpi klu x baca xde knowledge..plus bule fail..haha,teringat lcterr ada cite pasal teori Carl Gustav Jung :

Jung emphasized the importance of balance and harmony. He cautioned that modern people rely too heavily on natural science and logical positivism and would benefit from integrating spirituality and appreciation of unconscious realms. He considered the process of individuation necessary for a person to become whole. This is a psychological process of integrating the conscious with the unconscious while still maintaining conscious autonomy.Individuation was the central concept of analytical psychology.

كل شيء يغضبنا من الاخرين يقودنا إلى فهم انفسنا،اتبع ارادتك خبرتك لتكون ذاتك، إذا انت لم تفهم الشخص سيعتبره احمق، في كل الفوضى يوجد كون في كل الخلل هناك تنظيم سري، كلها تعتمد كيف ننظر إلى الاشياء وليس كما هي في ذاتها،خبث الاخرين يصبح خيث فينا لانها تضرم الشر في قلوبنا، المعرفة لا ترتاح على احقيقة وحدها ولكن من الخطا أيضا، الإنسان يحتاج للصعوبات لانها ضرورية للصحة، مهمة الإنسان هو ان يكون مدرك للمحتويات التي تخرج من اللاشعور

dalam teori ni..manusia ada satu aset dalam hati yg dikenali sbgai nafsu,yg membawa manusia ke tempat yg gelap..dan jika kita xpaham seseorg tu,hanya berpandukan ape yg nampak....kebanyakan manusia judge personally pd appearance..this is wut ive experience personally when someone just critic me,they just look at appeareance,but the problem is..tat person who critic me didnt see me even single time..just have a little bit conversation,in phone mybe..but i just let it be..people can say wuteva they want..n i deserved wut ive done..i dont want argue about a simple thing..just feel sori if i cant be wut they really want me to be..ouh,teori ni menerangkan character seseorg...sejauh mana nafsu atau hati yg jahat bole membuat seseorg terperangkap dalam hidup dengan keadaan yg amat susah..dan lebih parah lagi..org ini bkn sekadar mrnyusahkan diri sendiri..malah menyusahkan kehidupan didunia ini..mybe characterism yg ada pada manusia..yg jahat itu adalah perkara menarik..dan ada yg cube melawan,dan memanipulasikan negative pada perkara yg positive..The best index to a person's character is :

(a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and

(b) how he treats people who can't fight back.

mybe parent are very gud deal to build character in their own child..but parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

التطور النفسي الجنسي

رأى فرويد أن الشخصية مكونة من ثلاثة أنظمة هي الهو، والأنا، والأنا الأعلى، وأن الشخصية هي محصلة التفاعل بين هذه الأنظمة الثلاثة.

1. الهو:

• الهو هو الجزء الأساسي الذي ينشأ عنه فيما بعد الأنا والأنا الأعلى. • يتضمن الهو جزئين: o جزء فطري: الغرائز الموروثة التي تمد الشخصية بالطاقة بما فيها الأنا والأنا الأعلى. o جزء مكتسب: وهي العمليات العقلية المكبوتة التي منعها الأنا (الشعور) من الظهور. • ويعمل الهو وفق مبدأ اللذة وتجنب الألم. • ولا يراعي المنطق والأخلاق والواقع. • وهو لا شعوري كلية.

1. الأنا:

• الأنا كما وصفها فرويد هي شخصية المرء في أكثر حالاتها اعتدالاً بين الهو والأنا العليا، حيث تقبل بعض التصرفات من هذا وذاك، وتربطها بقيم المجتمع وقواعده، حيث من الممكن للأنا ان تقوم باشباع بعض الغرائز التي تطلبها الهو ولكن في صورة متحضرة يتقبلها المجتمع ولا ترفضها الأنا العليا. • مثال: عندما يشعر شخص بالجوع، فان ما تفرضه عليه غريزة البقاء (الهو) هو أن يأكل حتى لو كان الطعام نيئاً أو برياً، بينما ترفض قيم المجتمع والأخلاق (الأنا العليا) مثل هذا التصرف، بينما تقبل الأنا اشباع تلك الحاجة ولكن بطريقة متحضرة فيكون الأكل نظيفاً ومطهواً ومعد للاستهلاك الآدمي ولا يؤثر على صحة الفرد أو يؤذي المتعاملين مع من يشبع تلك الحاجة. • يعمل الأنا كوسيط بين الهو والعالم الخارجي فيتحكم في إشباع مطالب الهو وفقا للواقع والظروف الاجتماعية. • وهو يعمل وفق مبدأ الواقع. • ويمثل الأنا الإدراك والتفكير والحكمة والملاءمة العقلية. • ويشرف الأنا على النشاط الإرادي للفرد. • ويعتبر الأنا مركز الشعور إلا أن كثيرا من عملياته توجد في ما قبل الشعور ،وتظهر للشعور إذا اقتضى التفكير ذلك. • ويوازن الأنا بين رغبات الهو والمعارضة من الأنا الأعلى والعالم الخارجي، وإذا فشل في ذلك أصابه القلق ولجأ إلى تخفيفه عن طريق الحيل الدفاعية.

1. الأنا الأعلى

• الأنا العليا كما وصفها فرويد هي شخصية المرء في صورتها الأكثر تحفظاً وعقلانية، حيث لا تتحكم في أفعاله سوى القيم الأخلاقية والمجتمعية والمبادئ، مع البعد الكامل عن جميع الأفعال الشهوانية أو الغرائزية • يمثل الأنا الأعلى الضمير، وهو يتكون مما يتعلمه الطفل من والديه ومدرسته والمجتمع من معايير أخلاقية. • والأنا الأعلى مثالي وليس واقعي، ويتجه للكمال لا إلى اللذة – أي أنه يعارض الهو والأنا.

• إذا استطاع الأنا أن يوازن بين الهو والأنا الأعلى والواقع عاش الفرد متوافقا ،أما إذا تغلب الهو أو الأنا الأعلى على الشخصية أدى ذلك إلى اضطرابها. • أنظمة الشخصية ليست مستقلة عن بعضها ،ويمكن وصف الهو بأنه الجانب البيولوجي للشخصية، والأنا بالجانب السيكولوجي للشخصية، والأنا الأعلى بالجانب السسيولوجى للشخصية.

فرويد والتحليل النفسي

توصل فرويد ان الكبت هو صراع بين رغبتين متضادتين، وهناك نوعين من الصراع واحد في دائرة الشعور تحكم النفس فيه لإحدى الرغبتين وترك الثانية وهو الطريق الطبيعى للرغبات المتضادة دون اضرار النفس. بينما النوع الاخر هو المرضى حيث تلجأ النفس بمجرد حدوث الصراع إلى صد وكبت إحدى الرغبتين عن الشعور دون التفكير واصدار حكم فيها، لتستقر في اللاشعور بكامل قوتها منتظرة مخرج لأنطلاق طاقتها المحبوسة، ويكون عن طريق الاعراض المرضية التي تنتاب العصابين. واتضح لفرويد ان دور الطبيب النفسانى هي كشف الرغبات المكبوتة لإعادتها إلى دائرة الشعور لكى يواجه المريض الصراع الذي فشل في حله سابقاً، ويحاول حله تحت إشراف الطبيب أى احلال الحكم الفعلى محل الكبت اللاشعورى، وسميت تلك الطريقة التحليل النفسى. لاقت هذه النظرية رواجاً كبيراً خاصة في سويسرا، حيث أُعجب بها أوجين بلولر المشرف على معهد الأمراض العقلية بالمستشفى العام بزيورخ ويونج المساعد لأوجين.

Psychoanalytic literary criticism....

Sigmund Freud born Sigismund Schlomo Freud (6 May 1856 – 23 September, 1939), was a Jewish-Austrian neurologist who founded the psychoanalytic school of psychiatry.Freud is best known for his theories of the unconscious mind and the defense mechanism of repression and for creating the clinical practice of psychoanalysis for treating psychopathology through dialogue between a patient (technically referred to as an "analysand") and a psychoanalyst. Freud is also renowned for his redefinition of sexual desire as the primary motivational energy of human life, as well as his therapeutic techniques, including the use of free association, his theory of transference in the therapeutic relationship, and the interpretation of dreams as sources of insight into unconscious desires. He was also an early neurological researcher into cerebral palsy. Freud was also a prolific essayist, drawing on psychoanalysis to contribute to the history, interpretation and critique of culture.

While some of Freud's ideas have fallen out of favor or have been modified by Neo-Freudians, and modern advances in the field of psychology have shown flaws in some of his theories, Freud's work remains seminal in humans' quest for self-understanding, especially in the history of clinical approaches. In academia, his ideas continue to influence the humanities and social sciences. He is considered one of the most prominent thinkers of the first half of the 20th century, in terms of originality and intellectual influence.

Freud has been influential in two related but distinct ways:He simultaneously developed a theory of how the human mind is organized and operates internally, and a theory of how human behavior both conditions and results from this particular theoretical understanding. This led him to favor certain clinical techniques for trying to help cure psychopathology.He theorized that personality is developed by the person's childhood experiences.

In his later work, Freud proposed that the human psyche could be divided into three parts: ego, super-ego, and id. Freud discussed this model in the 1920 essay Beyond the Pleasure Principle,and fully elaborated upon it in The Ego and the Id (1923), in which he developed it as an alternative to his previous topographic schema (i.e., conscious, unconscious, and preconscious).The id is the impulsive, child-like portion of the psyche that operates on the "pleasure principle" and only takes into account what it wants and disregards all consequences.

The term ego entered the English language in the late 18th century; Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) described the game of chess as a way to "...keep the mind fit and the ego in check". Freud acknowledged that his use of the term Id (das Es, "the It") derives from the writings of Georg Groddeck. The term Id appears in the earliest writing of Boris Sidis, in which it is attributed to William James, as early as 1898.

The super-ego is the moral component of the psyche,which takes into account no special circumstances in which the morally right thing may not be right for a given situation.The rational ego attempts to exact a balance between the impractical hedonism of the id and the equally impractical moralism of the super-ego;it is the part of the psyche that is usually reflected most directly in a person's actions.When overburdened or threatened by its tasks, it may employ defense mechanisms including denial, repression, and displacement.The theory of ego defense mechanisms has received empirical validation,and the nature of repression, in particular, became one of the more fiercely debated areas of psychology in the 1990s.

Freud believed that humans were driven by two conflicting central desires: the life drive (libido/Eros) (survival, propagation, hunger, thirst, and sex) and the death drive (Thanatos).^[39] Freud's description of Cathexis, whose energy is known as libido, included all creative, life-producing drives. The death drive (or death instinct), whose energy is known as anticathexis, represented an urge inherent in all living things to return to a state of calm: in other words, an inorganic or dead state.

Freud recognized the death drive only in his later years and developed his theory of it in Beyond the Pleasure Principle. Freud approached the paradox between the life drives and the death drives by defining pleasure and unpleasure. According to Freud, unpleasure refers to stimulus that the body receives. (For example, excessive friction on the skin's surface produces a burning sensation; or, the bombardment of visual stimuli amidst rush hour traffic produces anxiety.)

Conversely, pleasure is a result of a decrease in stimuli (for example, a calm environment the body enters after having been subjected to a hectic environment). If pleasure increases as stimuli decreases, then the ultimate experience of pleasure for Freud would be zero stimulus, or death.^{[citation needed]}

Given this proposition, Freud acknowledged the tendency for the unconscious to repeat unpleasurable experiences in order to desensitize, or deaden, the body. This compulsion to repeat unpleasurable experiences explains why traumatic nightmares occur in dreams, as nightmares seem to contradict Freud's earlier conception of dreams purely as a site of pleasure, fantasy, and desire. On the one hand, the life drives promote survival by avoiding extreme unpleasure and any threat to life. On the other hand, the death drive functions simultaneously toward extreme pleasure, which leads to death. Freud addressed the conceptual dualities of pleasure and unpleasure, as well as sex/life and death, in his discussions on masochism and sadomasochism. The tension between life drive and death drive represented a revolution in his manner of thinking.

Around 1910, Alfred Adler began to pay attention to some of the conscious personality factors and gradually deviated from the basic Freud’s ideas, namely, the perceptions of the importance of infant hunger for life and the driving force of the unconscious cruelty.After some time, Adler himself realized that his thoughts are farther away from Freud's psychoanalysis, and then he called his system “individual psychology".

a soul...soul..soul..

agak sejuk mlm ni..pulang dengan selepas melihat chelsea tewas..hopefully tmrrow have a gud sunshine n lovely weather,pagi ni pon cuaca agak sejuk..memaksa diri ke kelas walaupon kesihatan x brape mengizinkan,da la kol 8 pagi..bgn awl2..tapi x de kelas..adoyai ! i always thinking every single day..about my exam n preparation..a little bit scare..mybe this is my last sem i must do a very well in my subject..erm,erything should be fine then..

masa terlalu pantas..thn beganti thn..lama xjupe member lama..berpandukan fb,mampu melihat kwn2 lama dari jauh..dan hari ni..salah seorg da kawen..xsangka masa begitu pantas..yg aku masih mengira masa dikejauhan,terlalu lambat rentak aku..biar lah,pada mereka yg sudah sampai waktu dan jodoh..biarlah mereka sahaja yg dahulu..aku masih belom bule mengikut rentak mereka..jauh disudut hati aku ingin kn seperti mereka..we got a different world n different time expenses..i chase wut ive plan n i want the most..neway,congratulation to my fren..i saw yur happy face in yur wedding pic..may god bless u n give u a reward ^^

tmrrow another hard day to get another shot in library,stay focus with a milion word about a philosophy n bla..bla..bla..a bit dissapointed with this subject..i know this my 2nd time repeat,wuteva i got a problem,i should beware not to fail again..ouh god give me a soul to understand wutever in the book..n i get a gud mark s well...life is just a chance to grow a soul,nothing in life is to be feared,it is only to be understood...time to sleep..may god give me a sweet dream..n tmrrow wake up in the morning with a very gud spirit..thanks god 4 today,gud nite people ! (^_^)v"

aku jauh di dasar kerak bumi..

ke kiriku buntu,

kekananku hilang,

ke timurku kosong,

aku terbosan dan tertekan,

seperti waktu terus saje meninggalkan,

aku,

jauh di dasar kerak bumi yg belom diterokai,

warnaku rindu,

jiwaku biru,

menunggu cintaku umpama si buta yg melihat syurga,

umpama lampu yg berbunyi hitam,

lalu menunggu aku terus,

kini…malam tiba lagi,

dan meninggalkan cahaya matahari,

dibebankan dengan rintikan hujan,

seperti mahu saja aku mengejar,

gunung yg besarnya tidak terdakap,

seperti tu juga lah rinduku pada kamu..

kini aku harus terus menunggu,

atau hilang saja dilautan yg luas…

pendahuluan...

ape2 pon,bule r blog ni..nnti lama2 update r..sgt penat rini..demam,xle tido,ni la keje bile xle tido..wat blog..i hope i get well very soon..my fren hand me an "ubat",but i hate "ubat" !never touch tat stuff..ok,im done..gudnite ^^